RECONSTRUCTING RELIGIOUS IDENTITY IN AFRICAN INDIGENOUS LANGUAGE FILMS BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU

 

PAPER PRESENTATION ON A 2 - DAY VIRTUAL CONFERENCE BY KANO INDIGENOUS AND LANGUAGE FILM FESTIVAL (KILAF) 

DATE: 24TH - 25TH NOVEMBER 2020 

RECONSTRUCTING RELIGIOUS IDENTITY IN AFRICAN INDIGENOUS LANGUAGE FILMS BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU 

ABSTRACT

One of the ways by which religious rituals, tradition and norms communicate in African society is by 

maintaining cohesion in the culture, this can be achieved through our local indigenous movies. They connect participants to richer meanings 

and larger forces of their community. Even in representational models, rituals create 

solidarity in the form of subjective experiences of sharing the same meaningful world 

which is attained by participants through the condensed nature of symbols used 

therein. Traditional religion is one ritual that despite the influence of westernization 

and scientific developments in Africa, still holds meaningful implications in people’s 

everyday life. Thus, from day break to evening, people have religious rituals with which 

they communicate with their God or gods, deities and ancestors (Christianity, Islam, Judaism, paganism etc). Also from weeks to 

seasons, months to years, there are festivals and rituals both in private and in public 

situations which the African still celebrate in connection with the ‘living dead’ or those 

in the ‘spirit world’. This paper will focus on the reconstruction of religious identity focusing on the major religions in Nigeria and the role our Nigerian movie industry plays.

INTRODUCTION

Like the practice of philosophy in Africa, Nollywood has significantly become involved in the process of Africa’s self reflection and identity construction by means of 

its cultural representations. Scholars like Kunzler, 2007, Onuzulike: 2007, Akpabio: 2007, 

Oluyinka: 2008, Osakwe: 2009, to mention but a few, by their findings attest to this fact 

and call for more nuanced analysis of Nollywood texts to explore the issue further. 

Thus, the use of films as a meta-narrative in exploring the religious identity of Africans 

is something of a revelatory process towards understanding not only the religious culture of the people but communalism in general as practiced in Africa. Again, it is aimed 

at decoding the aesthetics-pattern of the industry’s representational brand as against 

other mainstream film industries’ model of story-telling. In this paper therefore, the objective is to look at the religious identity in African indigenous films and discuss the significant presence of the indicators of African traditional religion by means of rigorous 

textual analysis. First, let us look at the phenomenon of the two major woods in Nigeria.

NOLLYWOOD AND KANNYWOOD : EMERGENCE AND BRIEF HISTORY

Nollywood and Kannywood the two main house whole names in Nigeria have their root in the movie industry and have played  key important significant roles.

The creation of Nollywood started in the 1960s. It was when the first Nollywood movies were being created by historical filmmakers such as Ola Balogun, Hubert Ogunde, Jab Adu, Moses Olayia and Eddie Ugboma. ("History,”) They are considered the first generation of Nigerian filmmakers. These pioneers started the Nigerian movie industry in a country full of citizens that looked to Hollywood for their entertainment. According to Britannica.com,  Hubert Ogunde was a pioneer in the field of Nigerian folk opera. He created the Ogunde Concert Party also known as Ogunde Theatre in 1945. It was the first professional theatrical company in the nation. Because of his contribution to the creation of the Nigerian film industry, he is often hailed as the father of Nigerian theatre (Sheffer, Setia & Tikkanen). 

Ola Balogun is another pioneer that contributed towards the creation of Nollywood. He is credited with directing a variety of films that cover a broad range of subjects. He has directed films about politics, corruption, poverty, and music. Even though he is still in the film industry, his major passion now is not being behind the cameras but on stage singing. He ventured into the Nigerian music industry in 2001 and now travels around the world promoting Nigerian culture through his music ("Ola Balogun," 2009). 

While not discarding the logic of those who do not see Nollywood as the name 

of Nigeria’s popular film industry currently, the understanding here is to signal the 

significance of these popular films produced in Nigeria by Nigerians in the culture industry. The use of the concept ‘Nollywood’ indicates the understanding that these 

films are vehicles of encoded messages with themes and languages that re(present) 

the life patterns of proximate Nigerian consumers in particular and Africans in general 

to whom they explore their social issues and cultural concerns. Again, that the Federal Government of Nigeria in 1993 set up a regulatory agency, the National Film and 

Video Censors Board, to censor the activities of the industry implies that it is officially 

regarded as the ‘national cinema’ industry of the country.

The Nollywood films according to Kunzler, is “an industry that has developed out 

of a context related to domestic and international cultural, economic, and political environments. It is heterogeneous in nature and can roughly be divided into Yoruba, 

Hausa and Igbo video films which designate their production centers in the SouthWest, North and South-East of Nigeria respectively” (Kunzler, 2007: 1). Thus, like any 

other national cinema, such as the Irish Cinema for instance, which “sustains and challenges the myths of a country’s nationhood” (Hill and Rocket, 2004: 10), or as Williams 

argues, “functions as an economic weapon in the competitive arena of world capitalism, promoting national values” (Williams, 2002: 6), Nollywood uses languages and 

themes that resonate with Nigerians to tell their stories. Even though, the filmmakers 

make films ‘essentially’ to make money as Akomfrah argues, they are systematically 

being ‘guided by the tenets of African nationalism and cultural identity which help 

them address local concerns’ (2006: 282). It exists “almost entirely outside pan-African 

institutions and international circuits that shaped most of the politicized African Cinemas”1

 (Haynes, 2000: 5) and “borrows from state media and the transnational flows of 

Indian and American films and Nigerian folklores” (Dul, 2000: 238). 

Generally, reception and textual studies of African films can be said to be in dire 

need of academic explorations. Only a few have been done and centred mostly on the 

canonized African films sponsored by the West (Zacks, 1995; Schmidt, 1985; Pfaff, 1992; 

Petty, 1992; Murphy, 2000; Tomaselli, Sherperson, and Eke, 1995; Haynes, 1995; Adedeji, 

1971; Akudinobi, 2001; Diawara, 1988, 1992, 1996, 1999; Nwachukwu, 1994; Bakari and 

Cham, 1996; Larkin, 1997). Quite recently, attention has started focusing on Nollywood 

especially in the West African region (Haynes, 2000; Adesanya, 2000; Ogundele, 2000; 

Ekwuazi, 2000; Okome, 2000; Garritano, 2000; Johnson, 2000; Oha, 2000; Larkin, 1997, 

2000, 2002, 2006; Haynes and Okome, 1997, 2000; Adejunmobi, 2002; Nwachukwu, 

2003; Lawuyi, 1997; Oha, 2001, 2002; Ofeimun, 2003; Owens-Ibie, 1998; Kunzler, 2007; 

Haynes, 2007; Okome, 2007; Onuzulike, 2007; Okoye, 2007; Dipio, 2007; Adeoti, 2007; 

McCall, n.d; Esosa, 2005; Akomfrah, 2006; Adesokan, 2006; Aderinokun, 2005; Akpabio, 

2007; Oluyinka, 2008; Uwah, 2008; Omoera, 2009) to discuss and analyze representations from insiders’ perspectives. Moreso our modern films today try to depict the culture/religion of other countries or their norms in our home movies rather than focus on our own core values here in Nigeria and Africa at large. 

The name "Kannywood" is a portmanteau derived from Kano and Hollywood, the center of the American film industry. "Kannywood" has origins in the late 1990s, when Sunusi Shehu of Tauraruwa Magazine created the term Kannywood and then it became the popular reference term for the industry in the northern nigeria.

The Hausa language cinema slowly evolved from the productions of RTV Kaduna and Radio Kaduna in the 1960s. Veterans like Dalhatu Bawa and Kasimu Yero pioneered drama productions that became popular with the Northern audience. In the 70's and 80's, Usman Baba Pategi and Mamman Ladan introduced the Hausa Comedy to the Northern audience.

1990s: Bollywood influence :

The 1990s saw a dramatic change in the Hausa language cinema, eager to attract more Hausa audience who find Bollywood movies more attractive, Kannywood; a cinematic synthesis of Indian and Hausa culture evolved and became extremely popular.Turmin Danya ("The Draw"), 1990, is usually cited as the first commercially successful Kannywood film. It was quickly followed by others like Gimbiya Fatima In Da So Da Kauna, Munkar, Badakala and Kiyarda Da Ni. New actors like Ibrahim Mandawari and Hauwa Ali Dodo became popular and set the stage for the emergence of super-star like female actresses later on.

2000s Kannywood :

By 2012, over 2000 film companies were registered with the Kano State Filmmakers Association.

A local censoring committee created by Kanywood Producers and Marketers was converted into a board and named Kano State Censorship Board in 2001 by Governor Rabiu Kwankwaso. Mr. Dahiru Beli was appointed the first Executive Secretary of the board.

RELIGIOUS IDENTITY AND BELIEFS IN AFRICA

Religion as part and parcel of life is a major tenet of communalism in African traditional life (Mbiti, 1969, 1990; Uzukwu, 1997; Okere, 1995; Dipio, 2007). Every person is 

guided by a personal god, called chi in Igbo language [where this writer comes from] 

similar to the ‘guardian angel’ in Christian theology. As an aspect of communalism, 

Mbiti states that “religion is the way of life of Africans” (1969: 29). These are apparent 

communications between the living and the dead guided by the hierarchical ordering 

of things in African communalism. Humanity first is created by the supreme God who 

is called Chukwu or Chineke. The God that creates (Yahweh elohim).

 This is where 

African traditional religion shares boundary with Christian theology that defines the 

triune God as “the being which nothing greater than can be conceived (non solum es 

quo maius cogitari nequit) but greater than all that can be conceived (quiddam maius quam cogitari posit)” (Anselm of Canterbury, in Fides et Ratio, No. 14). 

The concept of God in African communalism is revealed by the names given to Him 

in African languages. Following the principle of ‘agere sequitor esse’ (acting according 

to being), God is conceived as an unfathomable being, a force that creates all others 

and beyond whom there is no other. Mbiti emphasizes this point by arguing that “God 

is the origin and sustenance of all things. He is older than the Zamani period.

 He is 

outside creation and beyond creation. On the other hand, he is personally involved 

in his creations, so that it is not outside of his reach. God is thus simultaneously transcendent and immanent” (Mbiti, 1969: 29). This image of a being that is involved in 

the totality of African life is a force that recreates everything. Obiego, using the Igbo 

experience of religious faith to buttress this same point remarks that, “the profundity 

of their ideas and belief in Chukwu (God) is immortalized in their personal names (born 

mostly out of their experience in the struggle for life) as well as in Chukwu’s praise titles 

or epithets. Some of these speak of Chukwu’s existence in the emphatic way, as if to 

convince someone” (Obiego, 1981: 57). 

Some of the epithets as outlined by Mbiti in some African languages which describe Africa’s religious concept of God include the many definitions of his name: 

 ‘He who is of himself’ (Zulu), ‘the first who has always been

 in existence and would never die’ (Bambuti), ‘who has no father

 and is not a man’ (Herero), ‘the greatest of the great’ (Ndebele),

 ‘the great spirit’ (Shona), ‘the fatherless spirit’ (Ashanti), ‘marvel

 of marvels’ (Bacongo), ‘the unexplainable’ (Ngombe), ‘the unknown’

 (Massai), ‘the “He” of the suns’ (Ila/Baluba), ‘mighty immovable

 rock that never dies’ (Yoruba) (Mbiti, 1969: 25). 

These concepts come about due to the general understanding of the ‘person’ of 

God as the last end of all things or what this writer calls the Dum of existence. Dum is 

an Igbo word referring to the ‘totality’ of all things. It discusses God as ‘totality’ since 

He is pre-eminently immanent in nature. He is the ‘All’ of all things, the final summit 

and last apogee of existence who, even though, permeates all beings, is substantially 

unfathomable in being (Uwah, 2000: 26). For Adedeji, “God reveals Himself to Africans as a kingly Father who is dependable and a caretaker of the family, a friend who 

is trust-worthy for companionship, as a creator and life-giver who sustains and upholds the universe. For these reasons, Africans and Nigerians, particularly, see God as 

somebody who is good, merciful, holy, powerful, all knowing, omnipresent, a spirit, 

unchangeable, and unknowable. The Yorubas express these qualities when they say 

Olurun mimo (Holy God), Atererekariaye (omnipresent), Oba awaramaridi (unknowable), 

Apata-ayeraye (Rock of Ages), Oba aiku (Eternity), Kabiesi (Unquestionable)” (Adedeji, 

2000: 41).

In the Igbo speaking area of Nigeria, more of these epithets describe the people’s 

understanding of God (Chineke) as one of them who is involved in their affairs more 

like the ancestors communalistically. He is called Amama amacha amacha -‘the unfathomable being’, Echeta obi esie ike – ‘one who, when remembered infuses confidence’, 

Ogbara nkiti okwu biri n’onu – ‘the silent being that holds the last speech’, Ogba aka eje 

agha – ‘the warrior who wins battles without weapons’ etc. 

Now let look at one of the major religion in Africa/Nigeria "Islam" Muslims often refer to Muhammad as Prophet Muhammad, or just "The Prophet" or "The Messenger", and regard him as the greatest of all Prophets. He is seen by the Muslims as a possessor of all virtues. As an act of respect, Muslims follow the name of Muhammad by the Arabic benediction sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, (meaning Peace be upon him), sometimes abbreviated as "SAW" or "PBUH".

The deeds and sayings in the life of Muhammad  known as Sunnah are considered a model of the life-style that Muslims are obliged to follow. Recognizing Muhammad as God's final messenger is one of the central requirements in Islam which is clearly laid down in the second part of the Shahada (شَهَادَةٌ, "Testimony" or proclamation of faith): Lā ilāha illā l-Lāh, Muhammadun Rasūlu l-Lāh (لَا إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللهُ، مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُولُ ٱللهِ, "There is no god but God, Muhammad is the Messenger of God"). The Quran, in passages such as 3:132, 48:29 and 66:1, often uses the words "messenger" and "prophet" (such as ar-Rasūl (اَلرَّسُولُ, "The Messenger") or Rasūl Allāh (رَسُولُ ٱللهِ, "Messenger of God") for Muhammad, and asks people to follow him, so as to become successful in this hayāt (حَيَاةٌ, 'life') and al-Ākhirah (اَلْآخِرَةُ, the Afterlife).

RELIGIOUS BELIEFS IN NIGERIAN MOVIES

Africans traditionally believe that “man is a product of a universe in which all energy and everything is interconnected, born out of a “primal force” which has spread 

a little of itself into all it has generated” (Barlet, 1996: 84/85). By this is meant that Africans believe in a world that is unified between all beings, whether material, spiritual or 

metaphysical. Thus, for Onwubiko, “the world of Africans is one of inanimate, animate, 

and spiritual beings and there is the influence of each category of these beings in the 

universe in which they inhabit” (1991: 3). This inhabited universe according to Nwoga 

is a ‘space’ which is a field of action and not just a location made up of discrete physical distances and separate physical spaces. Ala mmuo (spirit world) and ala mmadu 

(human world) according to him, are the plains of spirit action and of human action, 

and these need not be physically separated. It is “the non-separation of these entities in physical terms that makes interaction between the various worlds possible so 

that spirits and their activities impinge on realities that are seen in the human and the 

physical” (Nwoga, 1984: 36). It is this view of ‘non-separability’ of the two worlds that is 

expressed in films like Things Fall Apart5 (1986) and many other African and Nollywood 

films where there is the constant tendency to consult the oracles (spirits) before taking 

up communal obligations which is part of African ontology. 

The spirit world is seen as part of the human world and the mediators between 

these worlds are culturally called the chief priests [Dibia in Igbo language] and [Babalawo in Yoruba]. Significantly in both literature and film adaption of Things Fall Apart, 

the reality of this worldview is concretely represented. In the description of who the 

earth goddess [Ani/Ala] is, and what role she plays in the life of people as a local deity 

in Things Fall Apart, Achebe writes: “Ani played a greater part in the life of the people than any other deity. She was the ultimate judge of morality and conduct. And what 

is more, she was in close communication with the departed fathers of the clan whose 

bodies had been committed to earth” (Achebe, 1958: 221). 

In the adapted film of this novel, the elders often meet in consultation with communal deities like Ani, the earth goddess and Amadioha, the god of thunder, in order to 

carry out communal duties. This is the case before the funeral rites of Ogbuefi Ezeudu, 

for instance, in the film, Things Fall Apart, and in Igodo: The Land of The Living Dead, 

when the community experienced massive deaths as a consequence of the wrath of 

the gods. The role of the traditional priest in these village ontologies is therefore significant in every community, since he or she bridges the gap between the real and 

the supernatural worlds, striving to sustain peace and harmony between all members 

(Kalu, 1994: 52). 

The film Sango (1997) by Femi Lasode particularly dramatizes Yoruba cosmology in 

its religio-cultural representations. In this film, the story is told of Sango, the traditional 

king of the old Oyo kingdom with spiritual powers that helped him win battles. Being 

an epic film equipped with cultural costumes, deep mystical powers of the gods and 

evocative sound tracks, this film reveals in great depths the idea of African traditional 

religion and belief in its richness of ritual communications between the human and 

spirit worlds. Similar to Sango’s deep ecological representations of African ontology 

are other Nollywood movies like Igodo (1999) and the Festival of Fire (1999), which focus 

not only on the relationship between the world of humans and the spirits in African 

worldviews but also emphasize how human activities are guided by the dictates of 

the gods. Instances of these types of activities in the films and the practical manner 

of behaviour in Africa makes Moemeka (1998) argue that Africans communicate communalistically. By this claim he pinpoints the indicators of communalism to include 

‘religion as a way of life’ in people’s daily encounters. In both verbal and non-verbal 

communications, Moemeka asserts that ‘communalistic acts are engaged in to confirm, solidify and promote social order. In such cultures, communication is always a 

question of attitude towards one’s neighbour closely tied to communication rules 

designed to ensure communal social order’ (1998: 133). 

Religion and faith define a strong aspect of Nigeria’s culture both in the traditional 

and modern day fashions. 

In his study on The Role of the Mass Media in the Process of 

Conversion of Catholics to Pentecostal Churches, Ihejirika identifies as one factor that 

makes people convert to Pentecostal churches, the idea that most believe there is always a contest between good and bad spirit in their lives (2003: 67). This confirms Oha’s 

findings of the Yorubas too especially in relation to Nollywood’s representations of 

their traditional religious practices, where the interface between religion and cultures 

is causing “a form of postcolonial education that means the emergence of cultural 

and religious hybridity in the society” (2002: 138). For Dipio, the “hybrid nature of this 

genre takes care of many interests at once. It combines art and commerce, pleasure 

and morals, reality and fantasy, tradition and modernity, and a form of Christianity that 

integrates traditional religion” (2007: 80). 

The Nigerian “Nollywood” and “Kannywood” apparently follow the Hollywood and Bollywood paradigm in ways beyond branding their industries to employing their strategies of telling stories. The copying is, however, often problematic in some respects, particularly the perceived incongruity of the ethos in the foreign films with the religion, culture, norms and values of the ‘local’ people the movies are primarily for, especially in culture-sensitive places like northern part of the country.

The Muslim-North is mostly a didactic, Shari’ah-abiding region. Generally, some people consider film as a means to debase their Arab-Islamic inclined culture. The people reject Hollywood as wholly un-Islamic, anti-Hausa cultural tenets while seeing cultural affinities in Bollywood films in areas like family values and relationship, among other things. Thus, from time to time, governments, a section of the hegemonic religious clerics and the public clash with the filmmakers. The religious and cultural negotiations continue unabated.

The question of identity in Kannywood films is yet another contested issue. Language is at the heart of this new challenging trend. The filmmakers deploy language to create “other societies” a la African-American usage of non-standard English language in Hollywood classics like Gone with the Wind (dir. Victor Fleming, 1939). Often, the non-indigenes’ perpetual poor grasp of the Hausa structure, phonology, phraseology and other linguistic tropes distinguish him from the mainstream, imperialistic culture of the society. The characters of Dan Gwari, Baban Chinedu, etc. typify such characters outside the margins. That, however, does not stop on the aforementioned typecasts, Hausa people from other states beside Kano are equally portrayed in questionable roles. For instance, Sokoto man is repeatedly shown as fantastically foolish. Therefore, in addition to the outsiders’ criticism, the filmmakers are themselves not sure of which identity of Hausa man to project to the world – the Westernised, Indianised, Arabised, Kano man, or what?

The religio, linguistic and cultural inconsistencies that are in Kannywood productions are overwhelming. Described as one of the most vibrant film industries in Africa by several scholars from within and outside the continent, the film industry has significantly been overshadowed by Nollywood, which is now the second biggest film industry in the world according to the 2009 UNESCO Institute for Statistics. Some filmmakers, as well as critics, see religion as a cog to the Industry’s growth in addition to its use of ‘local’ language, the dearth of professionals, and, above all, the (mis)perception that it caricatures Bollywood cause the marginalisation.

CONCLUSION 

The culture-centred nature of most Nigerian films can be argued to depict the 

industry as grounded on indigenous cultures like any other folk media, produced 

and consumed by members of the group. In this case, they reinforce the values of the 

people and are the visible features by which social identities and worldviews are maintained and defined (Eilers, 1992: 127). Thus, the general question of root paradigms in 

Nollywood films is ritualistic, ecological, sacred, cosmological and therefore strongly 

cultural in most cases.

 Understanding this role played by oral tradition and rituals in 

films helps film critics see how the filmmaker transforms his or her tradition into a new 

technology (Diawara, 1988: 13). It is, in the words of Barber, ‘celebrating the traditional’, which is an affirmation of self worth for the people as well as a demonstration of 

their progress and modernity (Barber, 1997: 1). It is this fact that this paper has shown 

by exploring the representation of religious identity in African indigenous films. 

Therefore, while religion is not a new phenomenon in textual analysis, the ideological 

framework behind its presence in most Nollywood and Kannywood films is an indicator of a somewhat 

revelatory value in the identity construction and cosmology of the African. In them 

as in real life religion, the transitory and the eternally sacred meet in the dynamics of 

ritual celebrations and strongly therefore signal oscillations between viewing and using religion in Nigerian movies as panoply of cultural identity construction. 

I will end this paper presentation by saying "as a lover of art when giving your story to the world remember your religious identity and learn not to copy other people's belief and culture.

SUSTAINING A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP EVEN IN A STORM BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU

SUSTAINING A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP EVEN IN A STORM BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU

 

Bitterness hurts, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. People appear to hold on to it to protect themselves from more pain. It does shield them from more hurt, but also from love as well. Bitterness from the heartbreaks of the past, may not allow for a new and better future. "Let go and let God but remember to forgive and connect in love again when we disconnect".

 This article will reflect on all form of relationships while intimacy is important our religious institution kick against fornication/adultry while this still happen let's avoid evil and what is promoted in our society today.

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can learn to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness.

What makes a healthy relationship?

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner. However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

You keep outside relationships and interests alive. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

You communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

Falling in love vs. staying in love

For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship can serve as an ongoing source of support and happiness in your life, through good times and bad, strengthening all aspects of your wellbeing. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort. And identifying and fixing a small problem in your relationship now can often help prevent it from growing into a much larger one down road. The following tips can help you to preserve that falling in love experience and keep your romantic relationship healthy.

Tip 1: Spend quality time face to face

Young man and woman sitting close together in coffee shop, their hands clasped, both smiling, woman's head tilted upward in glee

You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations, and the need we all have for time to ourselves can make it harder to find time together.

Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. Sending a text or a voice message to your partner saying “I love you” is great, but if you rarely look at them or have the time to sit down together, they’ll still feel you don’t understand or appreciate them. And you’ll become more distanced or disconnected as a couple. The emotional cues you both need to feel loved can only be conveyed in person, so no matter how busy life gets, it’s important to carve out time to spend together.

Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis. No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner.

Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Focus on having fun together. Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges start getting in the way or old resentments start building up. Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress and work through issues more easily. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers home or unexpectedly booking a table at their favorite restaurant. Playing with pets or small children can also help you reconnect with your playful side.

Do things together that benefit others:

One the most powerful ways of staying close and connected is to jointly focus on something you and your partner value outside of the relationship. Volunteering for a cause, project, or community work that has meaning for both of you can keep a relationship fresh and interesting. It can also expose you both to new people and ideas, offer the chance to tackle new challenges together, and provide fresh ways of interacting with each other.

As well as helping to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression, doing things to benefit others delivers immense pleasure. Human beings are hard-wired to help others. The more you help, the happier you’ll feel——as individuals and as a couple.

Tip 2: Stay connected through communication

Young woman sitting on side of bed smiling as she gestures towards her partner

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. It may sound simplistic, but as long as you are communicating, you can usually work through whatever problems you’re facing.

Tell your partner what you need, don’t make them guess.

It’s not always easy to talk about what you need. For one, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what’s really important to us in a relationship. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden.

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind-reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Take note of your partner’s nonverbal cues

So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words. When you can pick up on your partner’s nonverbal cues or “body language,” you’ll be able to tell how they really feel and be able to respond accordingly. For a relationship to work well, each person has to understand their own and their partner’s nonverbal cues. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat.

It’s also important to make sure that what you say matches your body language. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are anything but “fine.”

When you experience positive emotional cues from your partner, you feel loved and happy, and when you send positive emotional cues, your partner feels the same. When you stop taking an interest in your own or your partner’s emotions, you’ll damage the connection between you and your ability to communicate will suffer, especially during stressful times.

Be a good listener

While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you. There’s a big difference between listening in this way and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in your partner’s voice that tells you how they’re really feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. Being a good listener doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner or change your mind. But it will help you find common points of view that can help you to resolve conflict.

Manage stress

When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread your romantic partner, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, or lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted? If you can learn to quickly manage stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but you’ll also help to avoid conflict and misunderstandings——and even help to calm your partner when tempers build.

Tip 3: Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. And the benefits don’t end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.

While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn’t be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.

Of course, it’s important to be sensitive to what your partner likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don’t want. As with so many other aspects of a healthy relationship, this can come down to how well you communicate your needs and intentions with your partner.

Even if you have pressing workloads or young children to worry about, you can help to keep physical intimacy alive by carving out some regular couple time, whether that’s in the form of a date night or simply an hour at the end of the day when you can sit and talk or hold hands.

Tip 4: Learn to give and take in your relationship

If you expect to get what you want 100% of the time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise. However, it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.

Recognize what’s important to your partner

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs will only build resentment and anger.

Don’t make “winning” your goal

If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. It’s alright to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. Be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint.

Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win but to maintain and strengthen the relationship.

Make sure you are fighting fair. Keep the focus on the issue at hand and respect the other person. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed.

Don’t attack someone directly but use “I” statements to communicate how you feel. For example, instead of saying, “You make me feel bad” try “I feel bad when you do that”.

Don’t drag old arguments into the mix. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others.

If tempers flare, take a break. Take a few minutes to relieve stress and calm down before you say or do something you’ll regret. Always remember that you’re arguing with the person you love.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

Tip 5: Be prepared for ups and downs

It’s important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstandings can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration.

Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in their own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.

Look back to the early stages of your relationship. Share the moments that brought the two of you together, examine the point at which you began to drift apart, and resolve how you can work together to rekindle that falling in love experience.

Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.

If you need outside help for your relationship, reach out together. Sometimes problems in a relationship can seem too complex or overwhelming for you to handle as a couple. Couples therapy or talking together with a trusted friend or trusted religious figure can help.

THE ROLE OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS IN ENDING RAPE, TACKLING THE PROBLEM AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU.

THE ROLE OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS IN ENDING RAPE, TACKLING THE PROBLEM AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU.

While now in our present day society some Religious leaders are sometimes accused of Rape and gender base violence we need to focus, sit back and reflect on the root problem.

The core values expressed in the world’s major religions relate closely to human rights principles. These
values are also expressed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Buddhism. The numerous schools of modern Buddhism all spring from the original teachings of Siddhartha
Gautama, which reject inflicting pain and harm on others. Non-violence is thus an essential feature of
Buddhist conduct in the Dharma (teachings of Buddha).
Buddhism is concerned with the welfare of all beings. Sigâlovâda Sutta makes the point that if everyone
develops compassion, mutual respect, courtesy and loving kindness, children will not be ill-treated. The
Buddha’s advice to parents is clearly to support children to become generous, compassionate, virtuous
and responsible. In the Buddhist view, true compassion has the power to uproot the causes of misery and
suffering in people’s lives and direct them to the cause of happiness.

Christianity. Christians believe human beings are created in the image and likeness of God and look to
the example of Jesus to live their lives. Jesus always treated the vulnerable with love and compassion.
The recorded interactions between Jesus and children demonstrated kindness and respect, and his reported
words about causing children to stumble (Matthew 18:6), and the consequences for doing so are among the
strongest in the New Testament. Children were central to the new social order Jesus initiated. When he set
a little child in the midst of the disciples and said, “the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark
10:14), he demonstrated enormous regard for children. By blessing and laying his hands on children, Jesus
received children as people in their own right; he gave them status and dignity (Mark 10:16).

Confucianism. The traditional culture of a large portion of humanity has been shaped by Confucian principles of conduct, which, although externally strict regarding obligations among members of society – especially with one’s elders – are based on deep harmony of the part with the whole. The family, as one of the
smaller wholes, mirrors the harmony of the cosmos when all its members behave with respect, compassion
and love toward each other. Mencius states that everyone has a heart that ”can’t bear to see others suffer”
(Mencius 1.6) and illustrates this principle with the example of no one being able to bear the sight of a young
child being thrown down a well.

Hinduism. Hindu culture teaches ahimsa (non-injury) to all creatures and warns against committing himsa
(injury) to others, summarized in the Vedic injunction “Never injure others.” In the Hindu tradition, there is
no greater good than a child. Hindus believe their children are gifts from gods and products of their previous
karma. Many believe that their children were related to them or were their close friends in past lives. Hindu
parents are to lift their children into the higher nature of love, forgiveness, friendliness and security.

Islam. Islam views human life as a sacred gift from God. The Koran repeatedly stresses the sanctity of life
(hurmat al hayat). The life of every individual – regardless of gender, age, nationality or religion – is worthy
of respect. There is no distinction made between young and old, male or female.
Corporal punishment and other forms of humiliating treatment of children conflict directly with the advice
of the Prophet, which recommends treating those who are under the age of seven as children (employing
tenderness and compassion), treating those from age seven to 14 with care and concern, and from 14
onwards as close friends (with trust and cooperation).

 The noble Prophet of Islam emphasized: “Be
generous, kind and noble to your children and make their manners good and beautiful.”

Jainism. In Jainism, religion and culture have deep-rooted relevance to the development of humankind and
to the moral, spiritual and philosophical aspects of life. Jainism is a religion of love, compassion, respect
and the right to live, for all human beings. Jains strive to practice non-violence in action, speech and thought,
and they believe in “showering love and respect towards all living beings.” The Lord Mahavir has preached
that equanimity is the Dharma: “Know that violence is the cause of all miseries in the world. Violence is in
fact the knot of bondage. Do not injure any living thing.”

Judaism. The birth of a Jewish child is welcomed with words of blessing (Baruch haba, B’ruchah haba’ah).
The Talmud cautions parents from generating fear in children, citing the story of a child who died of such
fear (Semakhot 2:5-6). Prayers of blessing for one’s children for parents returning from worship are enjoined
in the siddur, or prayer book. Children are to be raised in a climate promoting tzedek (fairness) and kevod
(respect), and are to engage in the performance of good deeds (mizvoh). The Babylonian Talmud comments:

“Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents” (Betzah 32a).

Religious communities and leaders are uniquely positioned to
prevent and respond to violence against children.
There is strong consensus across religious traditions
about the dignity of every child and the need to
protect children from different forms of violence.
The inherent rights of the child are present in the
teachings and traditions of the world’s major religions.
With their extraordinary moral authority, religious
leaders are able to influence thinking, foster dialogue
and set priorities for members of their communities.
They are frequently in positions to advocate for
social and legal change. As those who are often the
first to respond to problems, they have the trust and
confidence of individuals, families and communities.
With almost 5 billion people belonging to religious
communities, their leaders’ potential for action is
substantial. From the smallest village to the largest
city, through districts and provinces to national and
international levels, religious communities offer
large networks for the care and protection of children and the safeguarding of their rights.
The scale and extent of violence against children
provides a compelling and urgent call to religious
communities to take action and to be actively
involved in advocacy and policy-making to eliminate all forms of violence against children.
Increasingly, religious leaders are speaking out as
advocates for children and drawing on the teachings of their respective faiths to promote respect for
children and their rights.
Religious communities are also reflecting on and
confronting their own beliefs, traditions and actions.
Many are challenging those who use their religion
to justify, condone or ignore violence against children. As situations of abuse and neglect of children
within and by religious communities have come
under the spotlight in recent years, opportunities
have arisen for thoughtful dialogue on the relationships among tenets of faith, religious traditions and
international human rights standards. Efforts
towards advocacy and reform have demonstrated a
substantial commitment to safeguarding children’s
rights and enhancing religious communities’ role in
broader protection efforts.
At the 2006 Religions for Peace World Assembly in
Kyoto, Japan, almost 1,000 religious leaders from
all world religions adopted the ‘Multi-Religious
Commitment to Confront Violence against Children’
(the Kyoto Declaration). The Kyoto Declaration
outlines ways religious communities can work to
eliminate violence against children in line with the
recommendations from the United Nations
Secretary-General’s Study on Violence against.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP

THE IMPORTANCE AND POWER OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU



 Praise is characterized as the act of magnifying and honoring God for who He is and the act of exalting God's great name.  It also includes thanking God for his many kindesses. Worship is characterized as a more intimate form of praise where believers seek to personlize their expression of God's worth to them and others. All Christians should make a practice of taking time to honor God for his goodness. David, known in the Bible as a man after God's own heart, incorporated this practice into His life.  As believers seeking to please God, we should do the same.

Why is Praise and Worship Important?

Praise and worship is important primarily because the Bible commands it.  In psalms for example, believers are repeatedly encouraged to praise and magnify the Lord.  We even see in the book of Revelations where angels and other heavenly beings worship and honor God in heaven.  While biblical commandment serves as our primary reason for the praise and worship of our heavenly Father, the following highlights several others:

God is deserving

There is no other being more deserving of praise.  God is our creator, provider, sustainer, and savior.  Without Him nothing or no one would exist. He is also the possessor of all wisdom and knowledge and the source of all that is good and perfect.

We should say thank you

Most people consider it polite to show appreciation to those who give them a gift, perform a kind gesture, or pay them a compliment. How much more shold we thank our heavenly Father who has given us life, breathe, the opportunity to spend eternity with Him, and many other kindnesses.

Praise invites God into our situation

The Bible tells us that God abides in the praises of His people.  When we magnify God, we invite His presence into our lives.

Praise and worship honors God's presence

It honors God's greatness when we are able to magnify God and focus on his goodness in spite of our personal challenges.  Through this practice, we testify that God is greater than all.

How We Should Praise and Worship

An organized form of praise and worship is important and should be cherished for what an awesome show of appreciation to the Father when believers collectively acknowledge Him for His goodness and give thanks, but our expression of praise and worship should not stop there.

Praise and worship should also be extended to private times between just you and God.  Living a daily lifestyle in keeping with God's commandments is also a form of praise and worship.

Physical manifestations of praise might include singing, dancing, the raising of hands, bowing, the playing of instruments and other forms.

All forms of praise and worship are pleasing to God when done with the proper intent and attitude.

The Results of Praise and Worship

Although our primary purpose for praising and worshipping God should be because He is worthy, there are often kindnesses bestowed upon those who participate in this expression of love. Some of these include the following:

- More intimate connection with God
- Victory in battle as when the Israelites marched around the wall of Jericho.  Praisers often preceded the army in Old Testament battles.
- Stress relief as we focus on the greatness of God versus personal challenges
- Believers experience the presence of God which may result in limitless favor (Encouragement, healing, deliverance, peace, joy, provision, etc.)
- Fulfillment of personal desires


Again, the most important reasons to praise God include the fact that He is worthy and that God takes pleasure in our praise.
What a priviledge to be able to share love with the greatest Being in all of existence who has showered so much love upon us.

Praise Elevates us into God’s Presence and Power
Paul and Silas knew the secret of how to lift their hearts above their troubles and enter into God’s presence and power. Through praise and worship their hearts were raised into the joyous presence and peace of God, and provided God a channel for his power to operate in their circumstances.


The Bible says that God inhabits in the praises of His people (Psalms 22:3). In other words, God “dwells” in the atmosphere of His praise. This means that praise is more than a reaction of coming into His presence... praise to God is a vehicle of faith which takes us into His presence and power! Praise and worship is the “gate-pass” which allows us to enter the sacredness of His glory. The psalmist writes, “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name” (Psalms 100:4).

This corresponds with Jesus’ teaching, that His presence will inhabit the gathering of believers who congregate in His name: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). A “gathering in His name” means that Jesus must be the focus, the center of the assemblage. He must be the one preached about, sung about — the one praised and worshiped. “I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee” (Hebrews 2:12). Consequently, Christ’s presence, along with His virtue and anointing, is manifested in this type of gathering.

Have you ever noticed when “gifts of the Spirit” operate in a church service? The power and anointing of the Holy Spirit usually becomes evident, subsequent to a time of worship and praise. Some think that worship is a response after the Holy Spirit moves upon them. However, it’s the other way around. God’s presence responds when we move upon Him with worship! Lifting up Jesus Christ through praise and worship invokes the Lord’s presence and power to flow in our midst.

What is Praise?
Praise means “to commend, to applaud or magnify.” For the Christian, praise to God is an expression of worship, lifting-up and glorifying the Lord. It is an expression of humbling ourselves and centering our attention upon the Lord with heart-felt expressions of love, adoration and thanksgiving. High praises bring our spirit into a pinnacle of fellowship and intimacy between ourselves and God — it magnifies our awareness of our spiritual union with the most high God. Praise transports us into the realm of the supernatural and into the power of God. “Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they shall walk, O LORD, in the light of thy countenance” (Psalms 89:15).

There are many actions involved with praise to God — verbal expressions of adoration and thanksgiving, singing, playing instruments, shouting, dancing, lifting or clapping our hands. But true praise is not “merely” going through these motions. Jesus spoke about the hypocrisy of the pharisees, whose worship was only an outward show and not from the heart. “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me” (Matthew 15:8). Genuine praise to God is a matter of humility and sincere devotion to the Lord from within.

Unpretentious praise and worship pleases the Lord. He delights in the love and devotion of His children. According to the scriptures, the various expressions of praise bring blessing to the Lord. He eagerly awaits the fragrance of our affections, desiring to manifest His sweet presence and power in our midst. “...the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him” (John 4:23).

Praise to God is a Lifestyle

All too often, praise to God is something that many people leave at church, an event that happens only when they come together with other Christians. However, praise should be a part of a believers lifestyle, inter-mingled as a part of their daily prayer-life. At work, in the car, at home in bed, or anywhere; praise to the Lord brings the refreshing of the Lord’s presence, along with His power and anointing. “...I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Psalms 34:1).

Praise is an expression of faith, and a declaration of victory! It declares that we believe God is with us and is in control of the outcome of all our circumstances (Romans 8:28). Praise is a “sacrifice,” something that we offer to God sacrificially, not just because we feel like it, but because we believe in Him and wish to please Him. “By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name” (Hebrews 13:15).

Praise Sends the Enemy Running
Since praise manifests God’s presence, we also realize that praise repels the presence of the enemy, Satan. An atmosphere which is filled with sincere worship and praise to God by humble and contrite hearts is disgusting to the Devil. He fears the power in the name of Jesus, and flees from the Lord’s habitation in praise. “Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God” (Psalms 50:23).

When the children of Judah found themselves outnumbered by the hostile armies of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, King Jehoshophat and all the people sought the Lord for His help. The Lord assured the people that this would be His battle. He told them to go out against them, and He would do the fighting for them. So what did the children of Judah do? Being the people of “praise” (Judah actually means Praise), and knowing that God manifests His power through praise, they sent their army against their enemies, led by the praisers!

So on they went, ahead of the army declaring, “Praise the Lord, for His mercy endureth forever!” And the scripture says, “...when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten” (2 Chronicles 20:22).

When God’s people begin to praise His name, it sends the enemy running! I challenge you to become a person of praise, and you will experience the release of the power of God!

Some Biblical Expressions of Praise
Declaring of thanks (Heb. 13:15)
Clapping hands and shouting (Psalms 47:1)
Musical instruments and dancing (Psm. 150:4)
Singing praise songs (Psalms 9:11)
Psalms, hymns, & spiritual songs (Eph. 5:19-20)
Making a joyful noise (Psalms 98:4)
By lifting our hands (Psalms 134:2)
By being still (Psalms 4:3-5, 46:10)
By being loud (Psalms 33:3, 95:1-6)

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF FATHER'S DAY BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF FATHER'S DAY BY ISRAEL KASHIM AUDU


Alot of people think we don't celebrate father's day or acknowledge father's day like mother's day celebration. Third Sunday of June is celebrated as Father’s Day in most parts of the world. Father’s Day is a celebration of fathers, honouring fatherhood, paternal bonds and the role fathers play in society. This day was first proposed in 1909 to complement Mother’s Day celebrations.

In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Six years later, the day was made a permanent national holiday when President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972.

As we celebrate father's day 21st of June 2020 for the Christians and Catholics please always remember your priest in prayers who are also called Rev. Fathers that the Lord will continue to give them the grace to carry on with God's work and the ministry.

Significance of father's day.

On this day children acknowledge and appreciate their fathers and father figures, who play an important role in their lives, be it emotionally, mentally or even financially. On this day children understand the importance of the role of a father in one’s life. This day acknowledges the contribution of fathers to their own families and society at large. Children buy or make presents for their father or father-like figure, write and draw cards, spend the day engaging in activities that can be enjoyed with one’s father, be it hiking, fishing or just sitting around watching some television. In India especially, most kids have a closer bond with their mothers, so this day definitely helps forge a closer relation with one’s dad.

While India follows the US, and celebrates Father’s Day on the third Sunday of June every year, in other countries including Portugal, Spain, Croatia, Italy, Father’s Day is celebrated on March 19. And even though this is a Western tradition started in the United States of America, it has gained a lot of prominence in India in the past many years.

History



The day was founded in USA, where it is celebrated on the third Sunday of June, at the Spokane, Washington YMCA in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd. That year, Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910. Sonora heard about how Anna Jarvis had founded Mother’s Day in honour of her mother and told the pastor of her Church that there should be something similar to celebrate fathers too. Sonora’s father was Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, a single parent from Arkansas who raised six children. Sonora was hoping that Father’s Day celebrations would be held on June 5, which was her father’s birthday, but the Church’s time constraints ended up pushing this day and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June.

Anyone can father a child, but being a dad takes a lifetime. Fathers play a role in every child’s life that cannot be filled by others. This role can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become.

Fathers and Emotional Development
Fathers, like mothers, are pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self confidence.

Fathers Set the Bar for Relationships with Others
Fathers not only influence who we are inside, but how we have relationships with people as we grow. The way a father treats his child will influence what he or she looks for in other people. Friends, lovers, and spouses will all be chosen based on how the child perceived the meaning of the relationship with his or her father. The patterns a father sets in the relationships with his children will dictate how his children relate with other people. As a father know when to be hash and soft to your kids.

Fathers and Their Daughters
Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, his daughter will look for those qualities in men when she’s old enough to begin dating. If a father is strong and valiant, she will relate closely to men of the same character.

Fathers and Their Sons
Unlike girls, who model their relationships with others based on their father’s character, boys model themselves after their father’s character. Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating the behavior of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world. If a father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the same. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the “rules” for how to behave and survive in the world.


Parents play very important role in the growth process of their child. In some cases, fathers and mothers complement each other’s role but some responsibilities are to be performed solely by the fathers. For the children, father is the hero within the family. The behaviour and activities of a father affect a child immensely so fathers must act responsibly. A responsible father will always ensure that his kids get a healthy environment to grow up physically and mentally both.

 10 responsibilities of fathers in child development are discussed below:
1. Father is Always a Protector.
Children feel safe and secured when they have their father around. Children can concentrate on their work and activities better when they feel secured so father has the responsibility to persuade his children that he is there to protect them from any problem.

2. Opens Up the World for the Kids.
Father is like a big window that opens up the entire world in front of the children. The children start getting acquainted with the entire world through the eyes of their father. For the children their father is the best guide to teach them what is what in this world and fathers have the responsibilities to keep up to their child’s exception.

3. Unconditional Love.

Fathers have the responsibility to make sure that their children know how much their fathers love them and they love them without any condition. Fathers must not encourage their children in doing things wrong but they must shower their love for their children without going into any condition.

4. Show Love and Respect for the Partner.

Fathers must show their love and respect to their partner. Only when fathers show respect and love to their partners, children would learn to respect their mothers and other elders. Fathers should never show any disgrace to the kids’ mothers.

5. Spending Quality Time.

Children always appreciate when they find their father spending quality time for them. Quality of time that a father spends with the child is much more important than the quantity of time spent with the child.

6. Teaching Discipline.

Fathers must take the responsibility of teaching discipline to their children. Fathers have the responsibility to specify clear boundaries for their children so that they understand what they can do and what they cannot.

7. Teaching Accountability.

Fathers can teach the sense of accountability to their children. It is important that children learn the importance of accountability in their life and it is better it is taught to the children by their parents at an early age.

8. Involve In the Studies.

Expecting the children to perform well in their exams without even knowing what they are studying is just not done. Fathers must get involve with their kids’ studies. They must not only read to their children rather they should read with their children.

9. Teach Taking Responsibilities.

Only when children watch their fathers taking responsibilities, they will learn taking responsibilities at various stages of their lives. Fathers must take enough responsibilities in doing household activities and outside work also. This will encourage their children in being responsible enough.

10. Be a Provider.

Children consider their father to be the main provider of all materialistic items. That does not mean that fathers must fulfil all the demands of their children but they must identify the needs of their children and try to fulfil them. Fathers would surely love to fulfil all the needs of their children and family but they should never do it by going beyond their spending limitations and teach their children the importance of savings.
Father and mother are two important pillars of a family and children need both of them while they grow up. That is why it is very important for the fathers to behave responsibly.

For the single fathers today raising children alone I pray today that God give them more and strength to carry on with their responsibilities.

For those who death have taken their father away today we pray that the Lord comfort them.

Remember don’t forget to tell your dad you love him, and thanks for being there.

I love you all.


Israel Kashim Audu.

COMMUNICATION GAP IN A RELATIONSHIP A BIG FACTOR ? BY KASHIM I. AUDU

COMMUNICATION GAP IN A RELATIONSHIP A BIG FACTOR ? BY KASHIM I. AUDU

Remember the song, ‘you say it best when you say nothing at all’? Well, it does not work all the time. Communication in relationships is important if you want your loved ones to be with you all your life, and for this to happen it is important to express your feelings to them and let them know what they mean to you. Today, in our daily hectic schedule, we forget to pay attention to the needs of our loved ones. We are so engaged in our daily chores, that we start taking our relationships for granted.

 Consequently, the bond get weaker by creating dubiety, doubts, and disrespect. It is better to discuss and sort out your problems in any relation, instead of living in ambiguity and suspicion. This article tells you all about the lack of communication in relationships, its effects, and how it can be improved with time.

Why is Communication Important?
Not communicating with your partner regularly can make you feel lonely and isolated. According to psychologists, such people tend to withdraw from social activities and are emotionally vulnerable. The consequences of this affect the whole personality of the human being, and it also affects his personal, professional, and social life. It is observed by psychologists and human behavior experts, that relationships with good communication not only last longer, but people in such healthy relationships seem to be happier than people stuck in unhealthy ones.

Lack of communication affects your relationship with your family members, friends, as well as at your work place. It can even break existing as well as potential bonds. These days, people are individualistic and believe in personal space. But too much of space only widens the gap between people. So express yourself to your loved ones, talk about the problems in your life, share your deepest fears and secrets with each other, and cherish the best moments of life together. It will make you come closer and will make you bond stronger.

Improving Communication In Relationships
You can improve your relationships by using various types of communication. Do not let the need to communicate take you away from your loved ones. Try the following tips.

If you think relationships with your family members need to be rejuvenated, then it is important to spend quality time with your family. Go for weekend holidays and enjoy with the family. You can have something like ‘family time’ everyday where the entire family comes together. For example, having dinner together, watching TV together, etc. This will give the sense of belonging to all your family members, and help you stay united in ups and downs.

Lack of communication with children can have serious consequences. You must pay attention to their needs and wants. If you neglect them it can affect them psychologically as well. So talk to your children about their school, friends, and studies. Take interest in their sports or art activities. Shower them with your love, attention and time. It will make them emotionally secure.

Lack of communication in marriage can have serious effects and can even affect children. Love, respect and mutual understanding are the basic things which every couple should consider. Share your worries with each other, accept your partner with all his/her strengths and weaknesses, stand by your spouse in all his/her endeavors. Do not take your spouse for granted and try to know his/her likes and dislikes. Many times we forget to say those three magical words, ‘I love you’, say it and mean it.
At the work place you need to develop good interpersonal communication skills though a formal communication setup is available. Let the authorities know about your requirements and discomforts related to the administration, and if you have problems with your colleagues or friends, talk to them and get the problems sorted out as soon as possible. Workplace communication can be improved by keeping an open mind and being optimistic, which will help you take the comments in a positive manner.
It is said that a relationships is like a bird. If you catch it tightly, it dies, and if you catch it loosely, it flies, but if you catch it affectionately, it remains with you forever. It means that neglecting relationships or being over protective and possessive is not the correct way to avoid problems; the right was is to have balanced relationships, which allow the smooth flow of communication. Effective communication is the key to successful relationships. Not communicating only results in unsuccessful human alliances, which causes grief not only to ourselves, but to others as well.

My prayer today is we understand each other seek for God directions, love and peace. Amen!

RAMADAN A TIME FOR SPIRITUAL REFLECTION, MEDITATION, REPENTANCE AND PRAYERS BY AUDU KASHIM ISRAEL

RAMADAN A TIME FOR SPIRITUAL REFLECTION, MEDITATION, REPENTANCE AND PRAYERS BY AUDU KASHIM ISRAEL.

As Muslim Faithful all over the world begin the holy month of Ramadan on the 23rd of April and end 24th May 2020 i urge us to remember the Nation in prayers for an end to the Corona virus pandemic and also pray for ourselves to be better persons.

Ramadan is known as the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which strict fasting is observed from dawn to sunset.

Ramadan is a time of spiritual reflection, self-improvement, and heightened devotion and worship. Muslims are expected to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam. In addition to abstaining from eating and drinking during this time, Muslims abstain from sexual relations and sinful speech and behaviour.

 Because of the current pandemic Saudi Arabia have suspended the usual prayers observed by Muslims most especially during Ramadan.

 Abdul Lateef al-Sheikh said the daily obligatory prayers observed by Muslims are more important than taraweeh prayers in Ramadan, adding that the instructions to stay home were in line with advice from the health ministry.

 We ask Allah the Almighty to accept taraweeh prayers whether held at mosques, or homes, which we think is better for people’s health,” Sheikh told local media few days back.

May Allah see us through during this hard times.

I wish you all a wonderful holy month of Ramadan ahead.

THE SIGNIFICANCE AND JOY OF FAMILY BONDING DURING A LOCKDOWN BY AUDU KASHIM ISRAEL

THE SIGNIFICANCE AND JOY OF FAMILY BONDING DURING A LOCKDOWN BY AUDU KASHIM ISRAEL


Family bonding time is time the family spends together meaningfully. This is a designated time your family plans to interact with each other over a group of activities or a major fun project.

The strain that the coronavirus is putting on our lives is immense. And it is affecting most relationships in some way. As a psychologist and a religious, I’ve received many emails and calls in the past few weeks from concerned people worrying that their relationships were not going to make it.

  Always forgive, understand your partner, show love and respect each other at this time.

It makes perfect sense to be struggling in your relationship now. We’re stuck inside our homes, forced to spend more time together than ever before. We’re relying on a partner for almost all of our social support because we can’t see our friends or relatives. We’re balancing new responsibilities like working from home, child care or housekeeping. It’s undoubtedly a lot of change all at once. At the same time, some people feel guilty acknowledging their relationship woes because it seems as if there are much bigger issues to worry about.

It’s OK to acknowledge the ways your relationship is being affected by the coronavirus crisis.

 Try these tips for supporting your relationship during these tough times.

First, take care of yourself;
Nurturing your relationship has to start with nurturing yourself. It’s simply too much to expect your partner to be your sole source of stress relief. Here are some of my favorite forms of self-care:

Allow yourself to feel your feelings. What we resist persists. When we give ourselves permission to feel the full range of our emotions, and validate that what we’re feeling makes sense, emotions dissipate much faster.

Journal; Spend five to 10 minutes every day writing freeform.

Meditate; This is one of the absolute best things you can do for your mental health. During this period you can also read spiritual books.

Move your body; The endorphin rush you get from exercise can be invaluable for managing stress, improving your mood and even boosting your immunity. If you can safely go outside while you exercise, that’s even better.

Seek other sources of connection; Reach out to friends and relatives, without your partner by your side.

Make a plan;
Sit down with your partner to discuss everything that’s on your plate, and make a plan for how you’re going to handle it as a team. Create a shared calendar with all of your tasks and responsibilities, and carve out specific times for when you’re going to do them.

I recommend having a brief weekly meeting every Sunday to anticipate the week ahead,  schedule and map out as much as you can. I also recommend a quick meeting at the end of each day to discuss the plan for the next day. There are so many things that we can’t control now, but it can feel soothing to have a plan for the things that are in our control.

Check in with each other daily;
Planning for the next day is one thing, but it is also important to remember that your partner is not a robot and probably experiencing the same range of emotions that you are. It can be useful to stop and ask each other questions like:

“What was your day like today?”

“What sorts of feelings are coming up from you right now?”

“Are there any ways I can support you or be a better partner to you?”

Be intentional about time spent together
You’re probably spending more time together than ever before. As much as you love your partner, this can quickly lead to tension and frustration. Set some healthy boundaries:

If you’re both working from home, carve out separate work spaces. If you can close a door between the two of you, that’s ideal.

Try to give each other space during the day. If you can, limit your verbal communication. Try texting instead.

It’s normal to need alone time. Be creative about how you can carve out that time. For example, maybe you can trade off taking the morning shift with the children so you give each other the chance to lie in bed alone for a few precious moments.

Be creative with date nights. Sticking to (or starting) a date night tradition can bring some much-needed joy and anticipation into your relationship. Try visiting a museum online, reading a book to each other or cooking an elaborate meal together.

Practice appreciation and gratitude;
These next few weeks and months are going to be a challenge for everyone. None of us are going to be perfect partners. Do your best and thank each other for being willing to make an effort. Tell your partner: “I see all the work you’ve been doing. Thank you.” As challenging as everything is at this time, there’s also a lot to be grateful for. Try to share a few things you’re grateful for every few days. The more gratitude you express, the more often you’ll find yourself noticing little moments to appreciate. And we could all use more of those now.

Parents can encourage creativity with the family by;

1. Asking questions: Creativity is all about questioning: How can I? Why should it? What would happen if? How can I make this, or how can I change this? It’s about making sure that children are always being asked those questions.

2. Keeping everything: Do not chuck anything away. Keep a bag with all the egg boxes and toilet rolls in a corner, because that’s going to be a mine of incredible craft-making materials.

3. Setting challenges: What kind of musical instruments can you make today from what’s in the bags over there?

4. Giving them time: The beauty is that the parents are in control of the time, for once. So you can give your child two hours to get on with a wonderful creative task, and they wouldn’t have that in school.

5. Finding online resources: Use sharing resources like Twinkl, BBC Bitesize. And then there are the entrepreneurs, like Joe Wicks doing kids’ exercise classes. There are also artists and designers sharing resources.

6. Being creative with space: Think about the space in your house. What can you change, what room could be theirs? What space is not utilized? What can you get rid of to make them a work area or for their equipment? That’s a very easy thing to fix.

7. Thinking outside the paintbox: Creativity is not just about arts and crafts, it’s also about the kitchen. What kind of lunch can they make for you while you’re working?


Get creative together

Art can be so powerful because it makes you escape for a little bit, it puts you in that mindfulness zone, and time passes so quickly. You can actually reflect and say, ‘I did that and it looks good’. As adults, if we are doing this ourselves, then we are showing good habits to our children.

So take time out of your busy, strange lives at the moment, by doing something like cooking, crochet or colouring in with your children. That’s a fantastic thing to be doing together, and it will go such a long way.

May the Almighty God bless you and your family and also see you through during this hard times the world is Facing. Amen.

Everything that has a beginning will have an end, I pray and believe very soon COVID-19 Will be history!